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Text File  |  1999-07-07  |  2KB  |  45 lines
  1. /* shiela 8ball */
  2. Options Results  
  3. signal on syntax 
  4. nick=getclip('NICK')
  5. az=random(1,38,time('s'))
  6. if az=1 then kv="yes."
  7. if az=2 then kv="no."
  8. if az=3 then kv="who am I to know?"
  9. if az=4 then kv="8ball is busy...go away."
  10. if az=5 then kv="conditions look favorable."
  11. if az=6 then kv="is the grass green?"
  12. if az=7 then kv="is the ocean pink?"
  13. if az=8 then kv="affirmative."
  14. if az=9 then kv="negative."
  15. if az=10 then kv="not in a million years."
  16. if az=11 then kv="never."
  17. if az=12 then kv="all these stupid questions are making me feel claustrophobic."
  18. if az=13 then kv="ask someone else, I'm on break for the next few minutes."
  19. if az=14 then kv="maybe."
  20. if az=15 then kv="I really don't know."
  21. if az=16 then kv="that's a really dumb question."
  22. if az=17 then kv="I think so."
  23. if az=18 then kv="I don't think so."
  24. if az=19 then kv="you will be happy when you find the answer to that question."
  25. if az=20 then kv="you will not like the answer to that question."
  26. if az=21 then kv="ummm...no."
  27. if az=22 then kv="ummm...maybe."
  28. if az=23 then kv="ummm...Yes."
  29. if az=24 then kv="Yes!!! The Answer is YES!!!!"
  30. if az=25 then kv="NO!! NOW GO AWAY!!"
  31. if az=26 then kv="probably."
  32. if az=27 then kv="it's unlikely."
  33. if az=28 then kv="my programming tells me to say YES."
  34. if az=29 then kv="my programming tells me to say NO."
  35. if az=30 then kv="How the HELL should I know?!?!?"
  36. if az=31 then kv="when you find out, let me know."
  37. if az=32 then kv="do you really expect me to answer that?"
  38. if az=33 then kv="I'd like to know the answer to that one too."
  39. if az=34 then kv="I'm not too sure...Answer hazy..try again later."
  40. if az=35 then kv="could you ask that again?"
  41. if az=36 then kv="what difference would an answer to that make in your life?"
  42. if az=37 then kv="is the pope catholic?"if az>=38 then kv="does a bear shit in the woods?"
  43. 'say 5'nick' 68-BALL says: 'kv
  44. exit
  45.